So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:14-16

“The best, the deepest, and the closest friends that I have—or that I’ve ever had—have one thing in common. They all loved me enough to tell me things about my life that no one else cared enough to say.”
— Chip Ingram

Take a moment and sit with that quote. What does it stir in you? Do you have that kind of friend in your life? Just as important—are you that kind of friend to someone else?

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul makes it clear that his desire for his friends is spiritual maturity. He wants them to grow deeper in their faith—to truly grow up. That kind of growth rarely happens in isolation. It happens in relationships where people are willing to “speak the truth in love.”

Speaking the truth in love does not mean softening or avoiding the truth. Rather, it speaks to the manner in which the truth is delivered. Tone matters. Attitude matters. I know this from personal experience. I’ve often been more than willing to speak the truth, but as one friend once kindly pointed out, my delivery could sometimes be… harsh.

What makes Chip Ingram’s words especially powerful is this idea: the closest friends loved him enough to say what others wouldn’t. That kind of honesty doesn’t come from judgment or superiority—it comes from love. Good friends care deeply about the person, not just being right. They want the relationship to endure, and because of that, they are willing to have the hard conversations when it truly matters.

Real friendship isn’t about constant affirmation or avoiding discomfort. It’s about walking together toward growth, maturity, and Christlikeness—even when the path requires honest words.

So the questions are worth asking again:
Do you have that kind of friend in your life?
And perhaps more challenging—are you becoming that kind of friend to others?

May we all be people who love well enough to speak truth—and speak it with grace.