It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1: 7-8

Gordon Fee, in his commentary on Philippians, offers a rich insight into Paul’s relationship with the church by framing it through Aristotle’s understanding of friendship. Aristotle described three kinds of friendship among equals:

1. True friendship—between virtuous people—rooted in goodwill, loyalty, and trust.
2. Friendship based on pleasure—formed around shared enjoyment, where people spend time together because they find one another agreeable.
3. Friendship based on need—a purely utilitarian arrangement, which Aristotle openly disdained.

As Fee notes, that third category isn’t really friendship at all. It’s transactional—you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Sadly, our political world is saturated with this kind of relationship, from local offices to the highest levels of power, and everywhere in between.

The second category is easier to recognize and far more common. We form friendships around shared interests—sports teams, music, hobbies, activities. These connections can be enjoyable and meaningful to a point, but they often fall short of what our hearts truly long for.

What we want—what we were created for—is real friendship.

We want to be known and to truly know others. We long for trust, loyalty, and mutual commitment. This is the kind of friendship Paul shared with the Philippians—a bond grounded not in convenience or common interests, but in a shared faith in Christ. Their relationship was marked by sacrifice, partnership, and deep affection born out of the gospel.

The longing for friends runs deep in all of us. But an even more searching question remains: What kind of friend am I committed to being?

Proverbs 18:24 tells us there is “a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” That kind of friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It requires character. It demands trustworthiness, loyalty, and genuine care.

So the challenge is personal:
Am I making myself worthy of another’s trust?
Am I loyal when it costs me something?
Do my words and actions show that I truly care for others?

True friendship is a gift—but it’s also a calling. And it begins with choosing to be the kind of friend we ourselves are longing to have.