Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3:18-21

The idea of submission of runs contrary to today’s manner of thinking. The truth is that when Paul addressed this topic in his letter to the Ephesians, he began with the idea that we are to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”(Ephesians 5:21).

And while submitting may be a dirty word in the American lexicon, submission is central to the Christian faith. Notice the example of Christ-

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5: 24-25

But today’s passage from Colossians also speaks to the relationship of marriage and since I am a man, I thought it might be helpful to hear from a well-respected Christian woman on the topic.

Rosaria Butterfield is an author, speaker and a pastor’s wife, although she would likely reverse the order of that list. Throughout her writings and speaking engagements she challenges the idea that submitting is “some kind of humiliating servitude”, and begins with the creation story. “God created men and women in marriage to do different and complementary things: husbands lead, protect, and provide, and wives submit, nurture, and keep the home.”

And in a lecture, Rosaria challenged those who might consider her stance too strong -“So if you are offended by [the call] to appreciate the often-misunderstood calling of a submitted wife, then I am gently calling you to examine your heart and repent. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not about you — or me. It is not about affirming your calling — or affirming mine. It is about God. And in God’s economy, the creation ordinance is at the center of the gospel, not the periphery. Children are not a trifling consequence of individual people … the Christian family is about “the kingdom of our world …becom[ing] the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he shall reign forever and ever” (Revelation 11:15).

So, women are to submit to their husbands, but Paul is also directed in his instruction to fathers to love their wives and to not be harsh with them. In Ephesians, Paul says that husbands should follow the example of Christ by giving up everything for us.

Children are to be obedient and honor their parents and again, fathers are to be encouraging to their children.

How does your view of the Christian family compare?